Conflicted Emotions; What To Do?

Okay, a little over a year ago my ex-wife went to Reno to peruse a job that she supposedly got offered. So she went, with our youngest child that we had together. I really didn’t like the idea of her going, but I thought it was a good opportunity for her. So I supported her in the decision. But about a couple of weeks after she got out their, she didn’t get the job. Because of my nosy mother. So my ex blamed me for what I had nothing to do with. Guilty by ociation is basically the situation I was in. I thought it wasn’t fair, because I wasn’t even there for the situation that cost her job. In fact I was at work at the time. But in any case, she was upset and started telling me that she didn’t love me, that she never wanted to see me, that she hated me, ect… And of course I was pretty upset myself, so I started to yell back. But didn’t mean any of it. But a month or two goes by and she tells me that since my mother cost her, her job that I needed to help her pay for her bills out their. So I did, even though I knew that I couldn’t afford the bills and the two kids I have with me. But I seemed to manage. I would send her money when she asked without even thinking about it. Then about the 3rd month se was out their, she had told me that she was pregnant. Well I was over joied about it but also upset because I wouldn’t be able to be their when it was born. So as the months went on we were on a rocky road, constantly fighting and arguing. I could never get any straight answers from her. If she was planning to come back or if she planed to stay their. All I got was “I don’t know”. And many other BS answers to my question that I had asked her. So in late September I went out their, because she wanted to file for divorce. She told me that she couldn’t get any type of state aid if she was married to me. So without thinking, I went out their, spent a load of money on not only my expenses but also on the divorce papers to get filed and on a $300 ring that she had wanted. I didn’t want to do it. I was pissed, upset, angry, and betrayed that she would even do something like that. But she told me that she had still loved me and that just because we weren’t married that it wasn’t going to change anything. That she was only doing this to get medical benefits. So I went with it. About a week after I got back home, my mother being the nosy person she is told one of my friends that my ex was planning on getting married. So just to get the story straight, I asked her about this supposed marriage. And all she told me was that it was a “fair” marriage. A group she is in that does renaissance fairs. But their meetings are mostly, about drinking and between each other. (Not really a thing I want my youngest to be involved with.) So she asked me how I found out about that. I was honest with her and told her that my mother had found it. Well that started another argument. I found out that the divorce paper work didn’t go through cause of many errors. So we tried it again a month later. This time she had come down. I thought that she would have stayed for a while like I did. But boy did I get a shock. After we resigned the divorce paper work again, and I paid for it again, she told me that she had to go because the person that she had got a ride with had to be back in Reno before midnight. Because he had is daughter with him and she couldn’t leave the state of Nevada. So of course I was pissed, this time that I thought I was going to spend with her and my youngest had been cut short. Then found out again in about a month later that it didn’t go through again. So she ended up getting a lawyer and doing it that way. So in late November we had started talking about filing taxes together. Something told me not to, but I agreed to it. But in between then and when we filed the taxes, we had a few arguments and I told her that she could file by herself. But she would sit their and smooth things out to where I would agree to file together. In mid November, I had bought myself a motorcycle (Yay me!!). Well I was taking a behind the wheel course and my ex wanted me to do something for her. And I told her that I had to take the cl. And she got upset that I got a motorcycle and she didn’t have any type of vehicle out their. I felt bad because it was true. But when we filed out taxes, she was showing me some affection that I didn’t even pay attention to because I was still pissed, angry, and betrayed at everything that she had done up until that point. So when deciding on who will get the money put into their account, she convinced me that she would have it deposited in her account and give me half of it when it comes in. well about a month later it comes in and she decides to keep all of it. Telling me that “we” agreed on her keeping all of it so she can get herself a vehicle for her. At this point, now I’m really pissed, cause that is not what we agreed on. But I just accepted it and told her that she could keep it but I would n